When asked how one becomes a writer, my grandfather, Conrad Knickerbocker, would answer: “You apply ass to chair.” To some, this became known as the Knickerbocker Rule. Though it sounds like a sergeant’s tedious demand for discipline, there is hope in this method. It is comforting to think that writer’s block will get bored and go haunt someone else when it realizes you are the stubborn one.
Admittedly, I look to this rule as something of a gospel. My current writing habits leave me frustrated and ADD. Scribbling ideas or semi-developed thoughts onto sheets of paper (napkins if you’re feeling particularly inspired), only yields a lot of scribbled on sheets of paper. Enough with this nonsense!
And so, I will not move until the wicker texture of this seat has sufficiently imprinted itself upon my rear. Or, I guess, until I’ve written something.