Ho Hum.

Everyone has slow points at work . Maybe things take awhile to pick up after you start a new job, or you have a break after completing a big project. Or maybe people have stopped giving you work because you’re going to get fired. Whatever the case, it seems like everyone at some point or another has had  to find something to do at work other than work.

For 100% of people, the preferred solution for this predicament is to dick around online. A friend of mine recently claimed she’s read the entire Internet. I believe her. It is clear that the Internet has saved us from hours and hours of daydreaming. However, it is also clear that we have become very limited in our office survival methods.

So, when you feel like expanding your repertoire of pass-the-time activities, here are a few suggestions:

– Try to cross your second toe over your big toe (impossible).

– See how far back in the history of your recent meals you can remember. (more than two days: impossible.)

– Find a rubberband, stretch it out, and see how much of the Canterbury Tales Prologue you can scribble onto it. Then after work, you can wear it around as a bracelet and when people ask you why you’re wearing a rubber band you can just shrug and say: the droghte of march hath perced to the roote.

– Eat the entire contents of your office pantry.

Any others I should include?

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